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Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Written & Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Cast:
Ron Perlman/Hellboy
Selma Blair/Liz
Doug Jones/Abe Sapien
Luke Goss/Prince Nuada
Running time: 120 mins
If the objective of the Hellboy series is to showcase the fallibility of a superhero forged from the furnaces of the supernatural
and to make him so human that he appeals to audiences who wouldn't be seen dead anywhere near a cinema screening a CGI-enhanced
action film, this sequel should certainly cross that labyrinth. This delightful, beer-swilling, cigar-smoking thoughtful grump
(the irreplaceable Ron Perlman) could even be your loveable old uncle if he didn't have two horns and a red tail.
This time he's balancing a desire to settle down with his beloved and fiery Liz (Selma Blair) and his instinctual need
to fight evil in his work for the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (sic), a secret government organisation, under
the humans/aliens' gaffer Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), a scatty bureaucrat. It's been evil in spades that has come his way
ever since he was moulded out of an alliance between Satan and the Nazis, rescued and raised by genial Professor Trevor "Broom"
Bruttenholm (John Hurt). In a prologue scene, Broom reads a charming pre-teen Hellboy a bedtime story from an old book which
describes an ancient, unhuman kingdom defending itself with an invincible army of gold giants. So powerful and immoral were
these warriors that the three-part golden crown which controlled them was divided in order to save the human race.
Suddenly and conveniently, in 2008, the evil Prince Nuada (ex-Bros. twin Luke Goss) is trying to agitate the status quo
by putting the three hidden parts of the ancient crown together in order to arouse the secretly buried Golden Army, destroy
humanity and rule the universe. Wouldn't you love a glimpse at this wee nyaff's CV? But, he's got a couple of flies in the
ointment. For one, his twin sister Princess Nuala (Anna Walton) is against his ambition and she holds the third part of the
crown. For another, there's that big red nuisance Hellboy who won't go away.
When our hero isn't battling an impossibly humungous, tentacled creature on the streets and buildings of New York with
a baby in his arms, watching TV or getting drunk (which he does in a hilarious change-of-pace, down-to-earth scene with fish-like
pal Abe Sapien, he's trying to get some lovey-dovey time with Liz, his loving cohort at the Bureau who is another superhuman
with flame power, aka pyrokinesis, and who hasn't told him yet that she's pregnant with his child (sequel, sequel!).
This beer-buddy scene between non-humans is daringly integrated into an action thriller to greatly humanising effect as
they trill Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You" - one which characterises director Guillermo Del Toro's conceptual
brilliance in the sub worlds of creatures light and dark, human and not. He fashioned the screenplay with Mike Mignola who
created the Dark Horse comicbook on which the Hellboy franchise is based. The creature creations take first place for bizarre
brilliance. The score by Danny Elfman functions with similar originality and solid range. Art direction and cinematography
support all concepts at a staggeringly high level. Old bore George Lucas take note - your tired and dismal Star Wars aliens
pale into insignificant tedium set against this benchmark. The weak link in Del Toro's chain of restrained might seems to
be in envisioning characters who are less than they ought to be. Doug Jones in the fish mask functions as an effete, brainy
sidekick, seemingly patterned on Star War's C3PO, and brings little credibility to a romantic engagement with the princess;
Walton's princess herself is woefully wet in her role; and, worst of all, the profound evil that Goss is representing here
poses little physical threat in so slight a figure, though what he lacks in body size is compensated for in his martial arts
speed and fight choreography.
Happily, such shortcomings don't apply to the top man. Is there such a thing as a demon everyman? Hellboy would be inconceivable
in any incarnation other than Ron Perlman whose size, head shape, bluster and irrepressible grumpiness endear him to us and
make for full acceptance of his relationship with the exquisite Selma Blair, whose presence leaves us wanting so much more.
This sexy, dark-haired beauty just wipes us out with her expressions of love for her demon lover - she certainly could light
any man's fire.
X-Files: I Want To Believe
Director: Chris Carter
Cast: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Alvin 'Xzibit' Joiner, Callum Keith Rennie, Mitch
Pillegi
Running time: 1hr 44mins
More than six years after the The X-Files ceased on tv and ten years since the first X-Files film arrived in the cinema -
former FBI agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) have returned to investigate the unexplained
one more time, although quite why, I don't really understand. Since I missed the last few series of the television version,
and I didn't pick up the DVDs to keep abreast of it all, it took me a while to get caught up on the plot. Fortunately, though,
the finer details don't really matter, so even those who never saw the programme shouldn't have a very hard time following
the story here.
After their days investigating the mysterious X-Files for the FBI, Scully returned to life as a doctor. Mulder, meanwhile,
fell out of favour with the FBI and was forced to go into hiding. Now, however, the Bureau has a case that falls into Mulder's
area of expertise - so Scully drops in on him, informing the now overly-hirsute Fox that they wish to coax him out of hiding,
assuring him that all has been forgiven.
The case revolves around a missing FBI agent. A troubled and disgraced priest, Father Joseph Crissman (a fine, if un-stretching
turn by Billy Connolly), has come forward to say that he's had psychic visions about the agent's disappearance. According
to Father Joe, the agent is still alive, but she's in mortal danger. With nowhere else to turn, Agents Dakota Whitney (Amanda
Peet) and Mosley Drummy (Xzibit) somewhat reluctantly reach out to Mulder and Scully for help. For the most part, The X-Files:
I Want to Believe feels like an extra-long episode of the TV version, though not one of the better ones. Like on the telly,
the movie is dark and creepy (thanks, in part, to the fact that much of it takes place at night in a snowstorm) - and it touches
on some pretty bizarre subject matter. But, unfortunately, the series' eerie, paranormal flair is missing. Without giving
too much away, I can only say that, while the story is moderately creepy, it isn't especially supernatural in nature, and
that's just not what I expected from The X-Files.
As for the characters, fans of the show will be happy to find that they've stayed true to their old nature. Mulder is
still delving into the unknown and searching for answers. And Scully, who is working in a Catholic hospital, still struggles
to believe in Mulder's paranormal mumbo-jumbo. Still, despite enjoying the tv version a decade ago, I no longer felt attached
to the characters, and even worse, I had a hard time caring about the story. I'll admit that it was nice to spend an hour
and a half with Mulder and Scully again. But, since it's been years since The X-Files ended, I just expected more from this
film. I expected it to be big and bold and filled with all kinds of unexplained paranormal phenomena. Unfortunately, though,
the only thing that's truly unexplained about The X-Files: I Want to Believe is why it needed to be made.
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